I had a Girlfriend who was so
stupid
that....... * She called me to get
my phone
number. * She spent 20 minutes
looking at the orange juice bottle because it
said
"concentrate." *She tried to
drown a fish. *she got locked
in a grocery store and
starved to death. *She tripped over a cordless phone. *She
took a ruler to bed to see how
long
She slept. *She studied for a
blood test. *She thought Meow
Mix was a CD for cats. *when She heard that 90%
of all crimes
happend around the home, she
moved. *when She missed the
44 bus, she took
the 22 bus twice instead. *She went to the airport and saw a
sign
that said "Airport Left" She
turned
around and went home.....
*One day, She came and Told me that She
was Hit By a Parked car.. My
Dear sweet loving friends,
Should I keep the mumu girl?
Monday, 27 August 2012
a set of 9 month twins
A set of 7 months old twins
babies were catching thier fun
in
the womb when they saw
a"joystick" coming towards
them.The 1st baby said;hey,look it
is daddy!He is coming inside to
play with us.The 2nd baby
replied,see mumu,u no get
sense,can't u see that it is not
daddy?It is uncle,daddy doesn't
cover his face with rubber
when
ever he wants to play with us
now.......!This one will not give
us"ICE CREAM"when he is leaving.
babies were catching thier fun
in
the womb when they saw
a"joystick" coming towards
them.The 1st baby said;hey,look it
is daddy!He is coming inside to
play with us.The 2nd baby
replied,see mumu,u no get
sense,can't u see that it is not
daddy?It is uncle,daddy doesn't
cover his face with rubber
when
ever he wants to play with us
now.......!This one will not give
us"ICE CREAM"when he is leaving.
nigerian naming
Nigerians not tired of naming
their twins
Taiwo and Kehinde,
Odion and Omo, Peter and Paul,
Victor and Victoria?.
Why can't we use names like Copy and Paste,
Beans and Bread,
Clearing and Forwarding,
Dolce and Gabbana,
Goodness and Mercy,
Andrew Liver salt and Alabukun, Facebook and
Twitter,
Campbell and Cowbell, Input
and Output,
Open and Close...
And finally........... Add urs to keep the fun
their twins
Taiwo and Kehinde,
Odion and Omo, Peter and Paul,
Victor and Victoria?.
Why can't we use names like Copy and Paste,
Beans and Bread,
Clearing and Forwarding,
Dolce and Gabbana,
Goodness and Mercy,
Andrew Liver salt and Alabukun, Facebook and
Twitter,
Campbell and Cowbell, Input
and Output,
Open and Close...
And finally........... Add urs to keep the fun
Saturday, 25 August 2012
B B
Boy: I Luv U. Girl: Shut Up. Boy:
Will Die 4
U. Girl: Shut Up. Boy: Cant Live
Without U.
Girl: Shut Up. Boy: Will Buy U
BlackBerry. Girl: WOW. Boy: Shut Up.
Will Die 4
U. Girl: Shut Up. Boy: Cant Live
Without U.
Girl: Shut Up. Boy: Will Buy U
BlackBerry. Girl: WOW. Boy: Shut Up.
small boy
a little boy wanted to knw
wat it
was lyk 2 have 100,000 naira
his mother told
him to pray to GOD for it. He
prayed for 2 weeks but nothng
turned up. Then he decided to
perhaps he should write GOD a
letter requesting the 100,000
naira When
th post office received the letter
address to GOD they decided to
open it and sent it to President
gudluck jonathan. The
President was so
impressed, touched and amused dat he instructed his
secretary
to send the little boy 20,000 as
he
thought this would appear to
be a lot of money to a little boy.
the
little boy was delighted with
the
20,000 and sat down to write a
thank u letter, which read as follows; Dear GOD: "Thank you
very much for sending the
money. I noticed that you had
to
send it thru the
government.As usual, those theives deducted
80,000 naira for tax" lol
wat it
was lyk 2 have 100,000 naira
his mother told
him to pray to GOD for it. He
prayed for 2 weeks but nothng
turned up. Then he decided to
perhaps he should write GOD a
letter requesting the 100,000
naira When
th post office received the letter
address to GOD they decided to
open it and sent it to President
gudluck jonathan. The
President was so
impressed, touched and amused dat he instructed his
secretary
to send the little boy 20,000 as
he
thought this would appear to
be a lot of money to a little boy.
the
little boy was delighted with
the
20,000 and sat down to write a
thank u letter, which read as follows; Dear GOD: "Thank you
very much for sending the
money. I noticed that you had
to
send it thru the
government.As usual, those theives deducted
80,000 naira for tax" lol
Thursday, 23 August 2012
romance in maths
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman =
romance
Smart man + dumb woman =
affair Dumb man + smart woman =
marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman =
pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee =
production
Dumb boss + smart employee =
promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item
he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2
item that she doesn't need. GENERAL EQUATIONS &
STATISTICS
A woman worries about the
future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about
the future until he gets a wife. A
successful man is one who
makes more money than his
wife can spend.
A successful woman is one
who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS To be happy with a
man, you
must understand him a lot and
love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you
must love her a lot and not try
to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than
single men do, but married men
are a lot more
willing to die. PROPENSITY TO
CHANGE
A woman marries a man
expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman
expecting that she won't
change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after
that
is the beginning of a new
argument.
Smart man + smart woman =
romance
Smart man + dumb woman =
affair Dumb man + smart woman =
marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman =
pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee =
production
Dumb boss + smart employee =
promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item
he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2
item that she doesn't need. GENERAL EQUATIONS &
STATISTICS
A woman worries about the
future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about
the future until he gets a wife. A
successful man is one who
makes more money than his
wife can spend.
A successful woman is one
who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS To be happy with a
man, you
must understand him a lot and
love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you
must love her a lot and not try
to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than
single men do, but married men
are a lot more
willing to die. PROPENSITY TO
CHANGE
A woman marries a man
expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman
expecting that she won't
change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after
that
is the beginning of a new
argument.
mistake
To all the girls that wear a lot
of
makeup>> Take It Easy,Its
Called A Face NOT
A Coloring Book :P
of
makeup>> Take It Easy,Its
Called A Face NOT
A Coloring Book :P
mistake
If a BARBER makes a mistake,
it's
a new hair style.
If a POLITICIAN makes a
mistake, it's a new law.
If a SCIENTIST makes a mistake, it's a new invention.
If a TAILOR makes a mistake,
it's a
new fashion.
If a TEACHER makes a
mistake, it's a new theory but.... If a STUDENT
makes a
mistake, it's a????.
it's
a new hair style.
If a POLITICIAN makes a
mistake, it's a new law.
If a SCIENTIST makes a mistake, it's a new invention.
If a TAILOR makes a mistake,
it's a
new fashion.
If a TEACHER makes a
mistake, it's a new theory but.... If a STUDENT
makes a
mistake, it's a????.
see
Man discovered COLORS and
invented
PAINT..
Woman got inspired from
PAINT
and invented MAKEUP.. Man
discovered WORD and
invented
CONVERSATION..
Woman got inspired from
CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.. Man
discovered AGRICULTURE and
invented FOOD...
Woman got inspired from FOOD
and
invented DIET.... Man discovered FRIENDSHIP
and invented LOVE....
Woman got inspired from LOVE
and
invented LOVE TRIANGLES..
Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY...
Woman got MONEY and started
SHOPPING...
Thats it!
Thereafter, man has discovered
and invented a lot of things... WHILE WOMEN ARE STILL
SHOPPING... !!!
Peace Ladies Just For Fun..:
Good Mawning........
invented
PAINT..
Woman got inspired from
PAINT
and invented MAKEUP.. Man
discovered WORD and
invented
CONVERSATION..
Woman got inspired from
CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.. Man
discovered AGRICULTURE and
invented FOOD...
Woman got inspired from FOOD
and
invented DIET.... Man discovered FRIENDSHIP
and invented LOVE....
Woman got inspired from LOVE
and
invented LOVE TRIANGLES..
Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY...
Woman got MONEY and started
SHOPPING...
Thats it!
Thereafter, man has discovered
and invented a lot of things... WHILE WOMEN ARE STILL
SHOPPING... !!!
Peace Ladies Just For Fun..:
Good Mawning........
u knw say
u knw dat 9 Nigerian...]
Abubakar Buoro Idris
7:58am Aug 16 Amazing facts......
1..Do u knw dat 9 Nigerian
athletes
won 52 plastic buckets @ d
london
olympics?...2..do u knw dat it took oda
countries 4 years to prepare for
Olympics n took Nigeria only 4
months? ( We too much)..3..do
U knw dat A
nigerian gal can run faster dan Usain
Bolt? ( Mek she 4get her
blackberry
inside taxi mek u see her speed
na)
Abubakar Buoro Idris
7:58am Aug 16 Amazing facts......
1..Do u knw dat 9 Nigerian
athletes
won 52 plastic buckets @ d
london
olympics?...2..do u knw dat it took oda
countries 4 years to prepare for
Olympics n took Nigeria only 4
months? ( We too much)..3..do
U knw dat A
nigerian gal can run faster dan Usain
Bolt? ( Mek she 4get her
blackberry
inside taxi mek u see her speed
na)
maths
A MATHEMATICAL WEDDING
INVITATION
Mr & Mrs.Algebra welcomes u
for wedding of their son
Differentiation with
Integration (Do, Mr & Mrs. Calculus)
Place: Matrix hall 5, Parallel
Line St, Square root Tower,
Near Polynomial Hospital,
With Best Compliments from
Mr & Mrs. Vector Mr & Mrs. Theorem
Bus Route: tan60, cos180, sec45,
cot30, sin90.
INVITATION
Mr & Mrs.Algebra welcomes u
for wedding of their son
Differentiation with
Integration (Do, Mr & Mrs. Calculus)
Place: Matrix hall 5, Parallel
Line St, Square root Tower,
Near Polynomial Hospital,
With Best Compliments from
Mr & Mrs. Vector Mr & Mrs. Theorem
Bus Route: tan60, cos180, sec45,
cot30, sin90.
true love
WHAT IS TrUe LOVE??
TruE LOVE is wen ur boyfriend
catches u
Naked with anoda MAN in Bed
and tells
you " Baby put on ur clothes letz go
home" WHAT IS SUICIDE?
Suicide is when you say "okay
huni"
and follow him!!!. LOL
TruE LOVE is wen ur boyfriend
catches u
Naked with anoda MAN in Bed
and tells
you " Baby put on ur clothes letz go
home" WHAT IS SUICIDE?
Suicide is when you say "okay
huni"
and follow him!!!. LOL
piece of cake
whose fault? TEACHER or THE
BOY
A boy came into his friends
house
and saw his friend eating his
homework, he then asked his mother "Why would the boy
eat
his homework? the mother
said;
because His teacher told him it
was a piece of cake!
BOY
A boy came into his friends
house
and saw his friend eating his
homework, he then asked his mother "Why would the boy
eat
his homework? the mother
said;
because His teacher told him it
was a piece of cake!
prayer
A MESSAGE THAT CAN CHANGE
YOUR
ENTIRE LIFE
(Must Read)
.
. . .
.
.
.
.
. . .
.
.
.
...I don't care what your boss
told you, ...I don't care what your so
called
"Friends" told you
...frankly, I don't care what
you
thinking right now What I know is You
are born to
make
it, Born to fall and rise, To cry
and
smile. Don't go the way life takes
you rather Take the life the
way you
go and
remember you are born to live
and not living because you are born.
You
are not born to find yourself,
You
are born
to create yourself. Life is very unpredictable, cliched but true.
You
don't know what's gonna
happen next, so live your life
like you'll
never live again. We live once, but
you
can
survive millionth of times.
You've
already made, you just don't have the
Eyes to see it. Seek the Eyes
from the
Lord Almighty, He's the Healer
of
everything, All you need is to have Faith. No matter how
small of
faith you
have, it can change all things,
You can
do the impossible... Whatever you
going through, it will pass,
Nothing
lasts forever, Seek the
Happiness
in Him, He listens and he answers.
Take
this moment and Pray with
me: "Guide me, O thou great
redeemer,
Pilgrim through this barren land;
I am weak, but thou art
mighty,
Hold me with thy powerful
hand;
Bread of heaven, Feed me till I want no more;
Open now the crystal fountain
Whence the healing stream
doth
flow;
Let the fire and cloudy pillar Lead me all my journey
through: Strong deliverer,
Be thou still my strength and
shield;
When I tread the verge of
Jordan, Bid my anxious fears subside;
Death of death, and hell's
destruction
Land me safe on Canaan's side:
Songs of praises,
I will ever give to thee AMEN" May the lord Grant you
Strength
and
Guidance through your
journey
and Now may the Lord of peace
Himself continually grant you
peace in
every
circumstance,
"AMEEN" "AMIN"
"AMEN"
YOUR
ENTIRE LIFE
(Must Read)
.
. . .
.
.
.
.
. . .
.
.
.
...I don't care what your boss
told you, ...I don't care what your so
called
"Friends" told you
...frankly, I don't care what
you
thinking right now What I know is You
are born to
make
it, Born to fall and rise, To cry
and
smile. Don't go the way life takes
you rather Take the life the
way you
go and
remember you are born to live
and not living because you are born.
You
are not born to find yourself,
You
are born
to create yourself. Life is very unpredictable, cliched but true.
You
don't know what's gonna
happen next, so live your life
like you'll
never live again. We live once, but
you
can
survive millionth of times.
You've
already made, you just don't have the
Eyes to see it. Seek the Eyes
from the
Lord Almighty, He's the Healer
of
everything, All you need is to have Faith. No matter how
small of
faith you
have, it can change all things,
You can
do the impossible... Whatever you
going through, it will pass,
Nothing
lasts forever, Seek the
Happiness
in Him, He listens and he answers.
Take
this moment and Pray with
me: "Guide me, O thou great
redeemer,
Pilgrim through this barren land;
I am weak, but thou art
mighty,
Hold me with thy powerful
hand;
Bread of heaven, Feed me till I want no more;
Open now the crystal fountain
Whence the healing stream
doth
flow;
Let the fire and cloudy pillar Lead me all my journey
through: Strong deliverer,
Be thou still my strength and
shield;
When I tread the verge of
Jordan, Bid my anxious fears subside;
Death of death, and hell's
destruction
Land me safe on Canaan's side:
Songs of praises,
I will ever give to thee AMEN" May the lord Grant you
Strength
and
Guidance through your
journey
and Now may the Lord of peace
Himself continually grant you
peace in
every
circumstance,
"AMEEN" "AMIN"
"AMEN"
my pray for my fans
TODAY, I PRAY THE FAN
READING
THIS TO...
-Be thoughtful
-Be thankful
-Be helpful -Be gentle -Be loving
-Be forgiving
-Be tolerant
-Be understanding
-Be joyful
-Be patient -Be good -Be calm
-Be determined
-Be patriotic
-Be listeners
-Be victorious -Be prayerful
LIKE and write AMEEN to claim this
prayer NOW !!
READING
THIS TO...
-Be thoughtful
-Be thankful
-Be helpful -Be gentle -Be loving
-Be forgiving
-Be tolerant
-Be understanding
-Be joyful
-Be patient -Be good -Be calm
-Be determined
-Be patriotic
-Be listeners
-Be victorious -Be prayerful
LIKE and write AMEEN to claim this
prayer NOW !!
enjoy this
............'''ENJ0Y'''..............
Husband and wife where
quarrellinq
suddenly wife sh0uted at d
husband 'y0u are a f00l!!!
Husband q0t anqry and sh0uted 'y0u'll leave ma h0use 2day'
since ah wax b0rn n0b0dy has
evn kalld me a f00l nhut evn
ma
family memberz
neiqhb0urz intervened and settled dhe matter daht niqht
heavyrain fell and
everywhere wax vewi c0ld!
Dhe husband t0t it wud be x0
sweet t0 qive d m0nkey inbtw
heez wife's leqz sum banana (u knw w0t ah mean na) he
started m0vinq heez handz 0n
her lapz t0wards ah undies
she sh0uted! 'wh0 is daht f00l!!!
Husband *in l0wt0ne*
MAMA NGOZI NA ME hehehehe men! D0NT 4GET TO
HIT LIKE!
#VirusDetected!
Husband and wife where
quarrellinq
suddenly wife sh0uted at d
husband 'y0u are a f00l!!!
Husband q0t anqry and sh0uted 'y0u'll leave ma h0use 2day'
since ah wax b0rn n0b0dy has
evn kalld me a f00l nhut evn
ma
family memberz
neiqhb0urz intervened and settled dhe matter daht niqht
heavyrain fell and
everywhere wax vewi c0ld!
Dhe husband t0t it wud be x0
sweet t0 qive d m0nkey inbtw
heez wife's leqz sum banana (u knw w0t ah mean na) he
started m0vinq heez handz 0n
her lapz t0wards ah undies
she sh0uted! 'wh0 is daht f00l!!!
Husband *in l0wt0ne*
MAMA NGOZI NA ME hehehehe men! D0NT 4GET TO
HIT LIKE!
#VirusDetected!
johny was having sex
Johny was having sex with his
mistress at her house when
suddenly thieves broke in and
he
went out of the house running
as fast as he could to his
house.when he arrived his
wife asked,"why are you
naked??".....he replied,"well,i
was
attacked by thieves on my way
home,they took everything
from
me"....wife,"so why is a
condom on
your penis??"....Johny,"well,as a grown up man,i couldnt run
home
completely naked.i had to
cover
some parts"
mistress at her house when
suddenly thieves broke in and
he
went out of the house running
as fast as he could to his
house.when he arrived his
wife asked,"why are you
naked??".....he replied,"well,i
was
attacked by thieves on my way
home,they took everything
from
me"....wife,"so why is a
condom on
your penis??"....Johny,"well,as a grown up man,i couldnt run
home
completely naked.i had to
cover
some parts"
Breakup Letter
The Breakup Letter
Boy: Baby, we need to talk.
Girl: Ricardo, what do u mean?
Boy: Something has come up...
Girl: What? What's wrong? Is it
bad? Boy: I don't want to hurt you,
baby.
Girl: *Thinks* Oh my God, I
hope he doesnt break
up with me... I love him so
much. Boy: Baby, are you there?? Girl:
Yeah, I'm here. What is so
important??
Boy: I'm not sure if I should
say
it.. Girl: Well, you already brought
it up, so please just tell me.
Boy: I'm leaving...
Girl: Baby, what are u talking
about?? I don't want
you to leave me, I love you. Boy: Not like that, I mean I'm
moving far away.
Girl: Why? All of your famliy
lives over here.
Boy: Well, my father is sending
me away to a boarding school far away. Girl:
I can't believe this.
[FATHER: (Picks up the other
phone, interrupts &
yells furiously
ERICA!, what did I tell you about
talking to boys?!!!... Get off the
damn phone!! (And hangs up).]
Boy: Wow, your father sounds
really mad.
Girl: You know how he gets, but
anyways, I dont want you to
go.
Boy: Would you run away
with
me? Girl: Baby, you know I would,
I
would do anything
for you, but I can't... You don't
know what
would happen if I did. My dad would kill me!
Boy: *Sad* It's okay.. I
understand, I guess..
Girl: *Thinking*I can't believe
what's going on.
Boy: I need to give you something tonite, because I
am leaving on
flight 1-80 in the morning, so I
need to see you now.
Girl: Okay, I will sneak out &
meet you at the park. Boy: Okay, I'll meet you there
in
20 minutes.
[They meet at a nearby park,
they both hug
eachother. And he gives her a note.]
Boy: Here you go, this is for
you.
I gotta go.
Girl: *Tear* (Begins to cry.)
Boy: Baby, dont cry, you know I
love you... But I
have to go.
Girl: Okay (Begins to walk
away.)
[They both go back home. And Erica begins to
read the letter he gave her]
It says...
"Erica,
You probably already know
that I'm leaving, I knew this would
be better if I
wrote a letter
explaining the truth about
how
much I care about
you. The truth is, is that I never
loved you, I hated you so
much, you are my bitch
and dont you ever
forget that. I never cared
about you, and never
wanted to talk to you, and be
around you. You really have
no clue how much I
hate you. Now that
I'm leaving I thought you should
know that I hate
you, bitch. You never did the
right thing, and you were
never there. I didnt think I
could hate someone as much as I hate
you.
And I never want
to see you, for the rest of my
life, I will never miss kissing
you like before, I never want to cuddle up,
how we used to. I will not
miss
you and that's a
promise. You never had my
love, and I want you to remember
that. Bitch, you keep
this letter because
this may be the last thing you
have from me. Fuck,
I hate you so much. I will not talk to you soon bitch...
Goodbye.
- Ricardo"
[ Erica begins to cry, she
throws
the paper in tha garbage & crys for hours ]
... A day passes, she is sad,
depressed and she
feels so lonely... Then she gets a
phone call....
Friend: How are you feeling? Girl: I just cant believe this
happened.. I thought he loved
me.
Friend: Oh, about that. Ricardo
left me a message.
A few days ago. He told me to tell you to look in
your jacket pocket or
something...
Girl: Umm.. okay.
[She finds a piece of paper in
the jacket,
It says:
"Baby I hope you find this
before you read my
letter. I knew your dad might
read it, so I switched a few words...
Hate = Love
Never = Always Bitch = Baby
Will not= will
.... I hope you didn't take that
seriously because I love you with all my heart,
and
it was so hard to let you go
thats why I wanted you
to run away with
me... -Ricardo"] Girl: Oh my God! It's a letter..
Ricardo does love
me!!, he must of slipped it into
my pocket when he
hugged me. I can't believe how
stupid I am!! Friend: lol Okay but I g2g... Call
me later.
Girl: *happy*okay, bye, I'll be
at home waiting for
my baby to call me!
... Erica turns the T.V. on...... [Breaking news] "An airplane
has crashed. Over 47
young boys died, we are still
searching for
survivors... This is a tragedy
we
will never forget, this plane was flight 1-80... it
was on its way to an
all boys boarding school..." the
Reporter says.
[ She turns off the t.v. ... 3 days
later, she kills herself, because of the fact that
Ricardo was dead
& she had nothing to live for... ]
... A day after that the phone
rings. Nobody
answers. It was Ricardo, he called to leave a
message. "Its Ricardo, I guess
you're not home so, I called to
let you know that I'm
alive, I missed my
flight because I had to see you one last time. So, I
hope your not worried. I am
staying for good.
Boy: Baby, we need to talk.
Girl: Ricardo, what do u mean?
Boy: Something has come up...
Girl: What? What's wrong? Is it
bad? Boy: I don't want to hurt you,
baby.
Girl: *Thinks* Oh my God, I
hope he doesnt break
up with me... I love him so
much. Boy: Baby, are you there?? Girl:
Yeah, I'm here. What is so
important??
Boy: I'm not sure if I should
say
it.. Girl: Well, you already brought
it up, so please just tell me.
Boy: I'm leaving...
Girl: Baby, what are u talking
about?? I don't want
you to leave me, I love you. Boy: Not like that, I mean I'm
moving far away.
Girl: Why? All of your famliy
lives over here.
Boy: Well, my father is sending
me away to a boarding school far away. Girl:
I can't believe this.
[FATHER: (Picks up the other
phone, interrupts &
yells furiously
ERICA!, what did I tell you about
talking to boys?!!!... Get off the
damn phone!! (And hangs up).]
Boy: Wow, your father sounds
really mad.
Girl: You know how he gets, but
anyways, I dont want you to
go.
Boy: Would you run away
with
me? Girl: Baby, you know I would,
I
would do anything
for you, but I can't... You don't
know what
would happen if I did. My dad would kill me!
Boy: *Sad* It's okay.. I
understand, I guess..
Girl: *Thinking*I can't believe
what's going on.
Boy: I need to give you something tonite, because I
am leaving on
flight 1-80 in the morning, so I
need to see you now.
Girl: Okay, I will sneak out &
meet you at the park. Boy: Okay, I'll meet you there
in
20 minutes.
[They meet at a nearby park,
they both hug
eachother. And he gives her a note.]
Boy: Here you go, this is for
you.
I gotta go.
Girl: *Tear* (Begins to cry.)
Boy: Baby, dont cry, you know I
love you... But I
have to go.
Girl: Okay (Begins to walk
away.)
[They both go back home. And Erica begins to
read the letter he gave her]
It says...
"Erica,
You probably already know
that I'm leaving, I knew this would
be better if I
wrote a letter
explaining the truth about
how
much I care about
you. The truth is, is that I never
loved you, I hated you so
much, you are my bitch
and dont you ever
forget that. I never cared
about you, and never
wanted to talk to you, and be
around you. You really have
no clue how much I
hate you. Now that
I'm leaving I thought you should
know that I hate
you, bitch. You never did the
right thing, and you were
never there. I didnt think I
could hate someone as much as I hate
you.
And I never want
to see you, for the rest of my
life, I will never miss kissing
you like before, I never want to cuddle up,
how we used to. I will not
miss
you and that's a
promise. You never had my
love, and I want you to remember
that. Bitch, you keep
this letter because
this may be the last thing you
have from me. Fuck,
I hate you so much. I will not talk to you soon bitch...
Goodbye.
- Ricardo"
[ Erica begins to cry, she
throws
the paper in tha garbage & crys for hours ]
... A day passes, she is sad,
depressed and she
feels so lonely... Then she gets a
phone call....
Friend: How are you feeling? Girl: I just cant believe this
happened.. I thought he loved
me.
Friend: Oh, about that. Ricardo
left me a message.
A few days ago. He told me to tell you to look in
your jacket pocket or
something...
Girl: Umm.. okay.
[She finds a piece of paper in
the jacket,
It says:
"Baby I hope you find this
before you read my
letter. I knew your dad might
read it, so I switched a few words...
Hate = Love
Never = Always Bitch = Baby
Will not= will
.... I hope you didn't take that
seriously because I love you with all my heart,
and
it was so hard to let you go
thats why I wanted you
to run away with
me... -Ricardo"] Girl: Oh my God! It's a letter..
Ricardo does love
me!!, he must of slipped it into
my pocket when he
hugged me. I can't believe how
stupid I am!! Friend: lol Okay but I g2g... Call
me later.
Girl: *happy*okay, bye, I'll be
at home waiting for
my baby to call me!
... Erica turns the T.V. on...... [Breaking news] "An airplane
has crashed. Over 47
young boys died, we are still
searching for
survivors... This is a tragedy
we
will never forget, this plane was flight 1-80... it
was on its way to an
all boys boarding school..." the
Reporter says.
[ She turns off the t.v. ... 3 days
later, she kills herself, because of the fact that
Ricardo was dead
& she had nothing to live for... ]
... A day after that the phone
rings. Nobody
answers. It was Ricardo, he called to leave a
message. "Its Ricardo, I guess
you're not home so, I called to
let you know that I'm
alive, I missed my
flight because I had to see you one last time. So, I
hope your not worried. I am
staying for good.
BoKo HaRam Is giving
BOKO HARAM is giving out free
BLACKBERRY PORSCH, TOUCH,
BOLD5, LAP TOP & lots of IPODS,
for their 2years anniversary.
Simply send '' BOMB ME'' space
ur house address to 6032. SMS is free
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHHHAHHAHAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
BLACKBERRY PORSCH, TOUCH,
BOLD5, LAP TOP & lots of IPODS,
for their 2years anniversary.
Simply send '' BOMB ME'' space
ur house address to 6032. SMS is free
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHHHAHHAHAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Nija believes true or false
NIGERIANS BELIEVES TRUE OR
FALSE => All softdrinks are
called
mineral'
=> India beat nigeria 99~1
because... the ... ... ... ball was turnin 2 Lion
=> If ur wealth start reducing
its ur village people dat are
doing u.
=> Rice and stew....Every
Sunday afternoon.
=> Every commodity tagged
with Made in China, USA or
anyone outside Africa is
original. => Anybody with
Aids got it through sex.
=> she's a 'calabar girl' chai!!!
she go sabi do...."
=> Every seasoning cube is
maggi. => U must finish D rice
b4 u touch d meat
=> Every toothpaste na
maclean.
=> Every insecticide na Fleet
=> Every detergent na omo.
=> Any rich hausa is an Alhaji', Dpoor ones na Aboki' and dese
days...boko!!!
=> U smoke u are an armed
robber!
=> If u find money on d floor,
pee on it b4 pickin it up,unless u turn 2 Yam!
=> only science students are
smart
=> Once u travel overseas u
must
be very rich...as if they share money on the plane => Drogba
use juju tie Torres 4
leg...lol
=> Every Girl dat plays and
jokeswith a boy, has slept
with him.
=> U must buy bread when
traveling to ur village...i
swear!!!
=> when u loose a tooth,throw
iton the roof of d house,and run
round the house 7 times"
=> Every noodle is called
indomie"
FALSE => All softdrinks are
called
mineral'
=> India beat nigeria 99~1
because... the ... ... ... ball was turnin 2 Lion
=> If ur wealth start reducing
its ur village people dat are
doing u.
=> Rice and stew....Every
Sunday afternoon.
=> Every commodity tagged
with Made in China, USA or
anyone outside Africa is
original. => Anybody with
Aids got it through sex.
=> she's a 'calabar girl' chai!!!
she go sabi do...."
=> Every seasoning cube is
maggi. => U must finish D rice
b4 u touch d meat
=> Every toothpaste na
maclean.
=> Every insecticide na Fleet
=> Every detergent na omo.
=> Any rich hausa is an Alhaji', Dpoor ones na Aboki' and dese
days...boko!!!
=> U smoke u are an armed
robber!
=> If u find money on d floor,
pee on it b4 pickin it up,unless u turn 2 Yam!
=> only science students are
smart
=> Once u travel overseas u
must
be very rich...as if they share money on the plane => Drogba
use juju tie Torres 4
leg...lol
=> Every Girl dat plays and
jokeswith a boy, has slept
with him.
=> U must buy bread when
traveling to ur village...i
swear!!!
=> when u loose a tooth,throw
iton the roof of d house,and run
round the house 7 times"
=> Every noodle is called
indomie"
mind blowing facts
MINDBLOWING FACTS
~Michael Jackson had a meeting
in 1 of the World Trade Center
Twin Towers
on the morning of 9/11. But he
missed it because he overslept. ~World Population Rank: [1]
China.
[2] India. [3] Facebook. [4] USA.
[5]
MySpace. [6] Indonesia. [7]
Brazil. [8] Twitter.
~Blue color has a calming
effect.
It releases calming hormones in
the brain.
Therefore many coy. like Twitter,
Facebook, Skype etc are blue.
~90% of the people change a
whole text message just
because
they don't know how to spell one word.
~Lazy fact:
70217188007622370510, You
were too lazy to read that
number.
~Michael Jackson had a meeting
in 1 of the World Trade Center
Twin Towers
on the morning of 9/11. But he
missed it because he overslept. ~World Population Rank: [1]
China.
[2] India. [3] Facebook. [4] USA.
[5]
MySpace. [6] Indonesia. [7]
Brazil. [8] Twitter.
~Blue color has a calming
effect.
It releases calming hormones in
the brain.
Therefore many coy. like Twitter,
Facebook, Skype etc are blue.
~90% of the people change a
whole text message just
because
they don't know how to spell one word.
~Lazy fact:
70217188007622370510, You
were too lazy to read that
number.
just joking o
Teacher: TeLL me three Kings
that
Brought Happiness on Earth..
Lefax: Drin-KING, Smo-KING n
fuc-KING,
Teacher: WHAT!!?? Apkors: Am Jo-KING
:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
that
Brought Happiness on Earth..
Lefax: Drin-KING, Smo-KING n
fuc-KING,
Teacher: WHAT!!?? Apkors: Am Jo-KING
:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
just joking
Teacher: TeLL me three Kings
that
Brought Happiness on Earth..
Lefax: Drin-KING, Smo-KING n
fuc-KING,
Teacher: WHAT!!?? Apkors: Am Jo-KING
:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
that
Brought Happiness on Earth..
Lefax: Drin-KING, Smo-KING n
fuc-KING,
Teacher: WHAT!!?? Apkors: Am Jo-KING
:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Fwd: [Buoro's World] As I walked home one
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Abubakar Buoro Idris <notification+kr4m4yqx2rra@facebookmail.com>
Date: Wed, 22 Aug 2012 23:07:32 -0700
Subject: [Buoro's World] As I walked home one
To: Buoro's World <buorosworld@groups.facebook.com>
Abubakar Buoro Idris posted in Buoro's World
As I walked home one
freezing day, I stumbled
on a wallet someone had
lost in the street. I picked
it up and looked inside to
find some identification so
I could call the owner. But
the wallet contained only
three dollars and a
crumpled letter that
looked as if it had been in there for years.
The envelope was worn
and the only thing that
was legible on it was the
return address. I started
to open the letter, hoping to find some clue. Then
I saw the dateline--1924.
The letter had been
written almost sixty
years ago.
It was written in a beautiful feminine
handwriting on powder
blue
stationery with a little
flower in the left-hand
corner. It was a "Dear John"
letter that told the
recipient, whose name
appeared to be Michael,
that the
writer could not see him any more because her
mother forbade it. Even
so, she
wrote that she would
always love him.
It was signed, Hannah. It was a beautiful letter,
but there was no way
except for the name
Michael, that the owner
could be identified. Maybe
if I called information,the operator could find a
phone listing for the
address on the envelope.
"Operator," I began, "this
is an unusual request. I'm
trying to find the owner of a wallet that I found.
Is there anyway you can
tell me if there is a phone
number for an address
that was on an envelope
in the wallet?" She suggested I speak
with her supervisor, who
hesitated for a moment
then said, "Well, there is
a phone listing at that
address, but I can't give you the number." She
said, as a courtesy, she
would call that number,
explain my story and
would ask them if they
wanted her to connect me. I waited a few
minutes and then she
was back on the line. "I
have a party who will
speak with you."
I asked the woman on the other end of the line
if she knew anyone by
the
name of Hannah. She
gasped, "Oh! We bought
this house from a family who had a daughter
named Hannah. But that
was 30 years ago!"
"Would you know where
that family could be
located now?" I asked. "I remember that Hannah
had to place her mother
in a nursing home some
years ago," the woman
said. "Maybe if you got in
touch with them they might be able to track
down the daughter."
She gave me the name
of the nursing home and
I called the number. They
told me the old lady had passed away some
years ago but they did
have a phone number for
where they thought the
daughter might be living.
I thanked them and phoned. The woman who
answered explained that
Hannah herself was now
living in a nursing home.
This whole thing was
stupid, I thought to myself. Why was I
making such a
big deal over finding the
owner of a wallet that
had only three dollars and
a letter that was almost 60 years old?
Nevertheless, I called the
nursing home in which
Hannah was supposed to
be living and the man
who answered the phone told me, "Yes, Hannah is
staying with us. "
Even though it was
already 10 p.m., I asked if
I could come by to see
her. "Well," he said
hesitatingly, "if you want
to take a chance, she
might be in
the day room watching
television." I thanked him and drove
over to the nursing home.
The night nurse and a
guard greeted me at the
door. We went up to the
third floor of the large building. In the day room,
the nurse introduced me
to Hannah.
She was a sweet, silver-
haired old timer with a
warm smile and a twinkle in her eye.
I told her about finding
the wallet and showed
her the letter. The
secondshe saw the
powder blue envelope with that little flower on
the left, she tooka deep
breath and said, "Young
man, this letter was the
last contact I ever
had with Michael." She looked away for a
moment deep in thought
and then said Softly, "I
loved him very much. But
I was only 16 at the time
and my mother felt I was too young. Oh, he
was so handsome. He
looked like Sean Connery,
the actor."
"Yes," she continued.
"Michael Goldstein was a wonderful person. If
youshould find him, tell
him I think of him often.
And," she hesitated for
amoment, almost biting
her lip, "tell him I still love him. You know," she said
smiling as tears began to
well up in her eyes, "I
never did marry. I guess
no one ever matched up
to Michael..." I thanked Hannah and
said goodbye. I took the
elevator to the first floor
and as I stood by the
door, the guard there
asked, "Was the old lady able to help you?"
I told him she had given
me a lead. "At least I
have a last name. But I
think I'll let it go for a
while. I spent almost the whole day trying to find
the owner of this wallet."
I had taken out the
wallet, which was a
simple brown leather
case with red lacing on the side. When the guard
saw it, he said, "Hey,
wait a minute! That's Mr.
Goldstein's wallet. I'd
know it anywhere with
that bright red lacing. He's always losing that
wallet. I must have
found it in the halls at
least three times."
"Who's Mr. Goldstein?" I
asked as my hand began to shake.
"He's one of the old
timers on the 8th floor.
That's Mike Goldstein's
wallet for sure. He must
have lost it on one of his walks."
I thanked the guard and
quickly ran back to the
nurse's office. I told her
what the guard had said.
We went back to the elevator and got on. I
prayed that Mr. Goldstein
would be up.
On the eighth floor, the
floor nurse said, "I think
he's still in the day room. He likes to read at
night. He's a darling old
man."
We went to the only
room that had any lights
on and there was a man reading a book. The nurse
went over to him and
asked if he had lost his
wallet. Mr. Goldstein
looked up with surprise,
put his hand in his back pocket and said, "Oh, it is
missing!"
"This kind gentleman
found a wallet and we
wondered if it could be
yours?" I handed Mr. Goldstein the
wallet and the second he
saw it, he smiled with
relief and said, "Yes,
that's it! It must have
dropped out of my pocket this
afternoon. I want to give
you a reward."
"No, thank you," I said.
"But I have to tell you
something. I read the letter in the hope of
finding out who owned
the wallet."
The smile on his face
suddenly disappeared.
"You read that letter?" "Not only did I read it, I
think I know where
Hannah is."
He suddenly grew pale.
"Hannah? You know
where she is? How is she? Is she still as pretty
as she was? Please,
please tell me," he
begged.
"She's fine...just as pretty
as when you knew her." I said softly.
The old man smiled with
anticipation and asked,
"Could you tell me where
she is? I want to call her
tomorrow." He grabbed my hand and said, "You
know something, mister,
I was so in love with
that girl that when that
letter came, my life
literally ended. I never married. I guess I've
always loved her. "
"Mr. Goldstein," I said,
"Come with me."
We took the elevator
down to the third floor. The hallways were
darkened and only one or
two little night-lights lit
our way to the day room
where Hannah was
sitting alone watching the television. The nurse
walked over to her.
"Hannah," she said softly,
pointing to Michael, who
was waiting with me in
the doorway. "Do you know this man?"
She adjusted her glasses,
looked for a moment, but
didn't say a word.
Michael said softly,
almost in a whisper, "Hannah, it's Michael. Do
you remember me?"
She gasped, "Michael! I
don't believe it! Michael!
It's you! My Michael!"
He walked slowly towards her and they
embraced. The nurse and
I left with
tears streaming down
our faces.
"See," I said. "See how the Good Lord works! If
it's meant to be, it will
be."
About three weeks later
I got a call at my office
from the nursing home. "Can you break away on
Sunday to attend a
wedding? Michael and
Hannah are going to tie
the knot!"
It was a beautiful wedding with all the
people at the nursing
home dressed up to join
in the celebration. Hannah
wore a light beige dress
and looked beautiful. Michael wore a dark blue
suit and stood tall. They
made me their best man.
The hospital gave them
their own room and if
you ever wanted to see a 76-year-old bride and a
79-year-old groom acting
like two teenagers, you
had
to see this couple.
A perfect ending for a love affair that had
lasted nearly 60 years
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From: Abubakar Buoro Idris <notification+kr4m4yqx2rra@facebookmail.com>
Date: Wed, 22 Aug 2012 23:07:32 -0700
Subject: [Buoro's World] As I walked home one
To: Buoro's World <buorosworld@groups.facebook.com>
Abubakar Buoro Idris posted in Buoro's World
As I walked home one
freezing day, I stumbled
on a wallet someone had
lost in the street. I picked
it up and looked inside to
find some identification so
I could call the owner. But
the wallet contained only
three dollars and a
crumpled letter that
looked as if it had been in there for years.
The envelope was worn
and the only thing that
was legible on it was the
return address. I started
to open the letter, hoping to find some clue. Then
I saw the dateline--1924.
The letter had been
written almost sixty
years ago.
It was written in a beautiful feminine
handwriting on powder
blue
stationery with a little
flower in the left-hand
corner. It was a "Dear John"
letter that told the
recipient, whose name
appeared to be Michael,
that the
writer could not see him any more because her
mother forbade it. Even
so, she
wrote that she would
always love him.
It was signed, Hannah. It was a beautiful letter,
but there was no way
except for the name
Michael, that the owner
could be identified. Maybe
if I called information,the operator could find a
phone listing for the
address on the envelope.
"Operator," I began, "this
is an unusual request. I'm
trying to find the owner of a wallet that I found.
Is there anyway you can
tell me if there is a phone
number for an address
that was on an envelope
in the wallet?" She suggested I speak
with her supervisor, who
hesitated for a moment
then said, "Well, there is
a phone listing at that
address, but I can't give you the number." She
said, as a courtesy, she
would call that number,
explain my story and
would ask them if they
wanted her to connect me. I waited a few
minutes and then she
was back on the line. "I
have a party who will
speak with you."
I asked the woman on the other end of the line
if she knew anyone by
the
name of Hannah. She
gasped, "Oh! We bought
this house from a family who had a daughter
named Hannah. But that
was 30 years ago!"
"Would you know where
that family could be
located now?" I asked. "I remember that Hannah
had to place her mother
in a nursing home some
years ago," the woman
said. "Maybe if you got in
touch with them they might be able to track
down the daughter."
She gave me the name
of the nursing home and
I called the number. They
told me the old lady had passed away some
years ago but they did
have a phone number for
where they thought the
daughter might be living.
I thanked them and phoned. The woman who
answered explained that
Hannah herself was now
living in a nursing home.
This whole thing was
stupid, I thought to myself. Why was I
making such a
big deal over finding the
owner of a wallet that
had only three dollars and
a letter that was almost 60 years old?
Nevertheless, I called the
nursing home in which
Hannah was supposed to
be living and the man
who answered the phone told me, "Yes, Hannah is
staying with us. "
Even though it was
already 10 p.m., I asked if
I could come by to see
her. "Well," he said
hesitatingly, "if you want
to take a chance, she
might be in
the day room watching
television." I thanked him and drove
over to the nursing home.
The night nurse and a
guard greeted me at the
door. We went up to the
third floor of the large building. In the day room,
the nurse introduced me
to Hannah.
She was a sweet, silver-
haired old timer with a
warm smile and a twinkle in her eye.
I told her about finding
the wallet and showed
her the letter. The
secondshe saw the
powder blue envelope with that little flower on
the left, she tooka deep
breath and said, "Young
man, this letter was the
last contact I ever
had with Michael." She looked away for a
moment deep in thought
and then said Softly, "I
loved him very much. But
I was only 16 at the time
and my mother felt I was too young. Oh, he
was so handsome. He
looked like Sean Connery,
the actor."
"Yes," she continued.
"Michael Goldstein was a wonderful person. If
youshould find him, tell
him I think of him often.
And," she hesitated for
amoment, almost biting
her lip, "tell him I still love him. You know," she said
smiling as tears began to
well up in her eyes, "I
never did marry. I guess
no one ever matched up
to Michael..." I thanked Hannah and
said goodbye. I took the
elevator to the first floor
and as I stood by the
door, the guard there
asked, "Was the old lady able to help you?"
I told him she had given
me a lead. "At least I
have a last name. But I
think I'll let it go for a
while. I spent almost the whole day trying to find
the owner of this wallet."
I had taken out the
wallet, which was a
simple brown leather
case with red lacing on the side. When the guard
saw it, he said, "Hey,
wait a minute! That's Mr.
Goldstein's wallet. I'd
know it anywhere with
that bright red lacing. He's always losing that
wallet. I must have
found it in the halls at
least three times."
"Who's Mr. Goldstein?" I
asked as my hand began to shake.
"He's one of the old
timers on the 8th floor.
That's Mike Goldstein's
wallet for sure. He must
have lost it on one of his walks."
I thanked the guard and
quickly ran back to the
nurse's office. I told her
what the guard had said.
We went back to the elevator and got on. I
prayed that Mr. Goldstein
would be up.
On the eighth floor, the
floor nurse said, "I think
he's still in the day room. He likes to read at
night. He's a darling old
man."
We went to the only
room that had any lights
on and there was a man reading a book. The nurse
went over to him and
asked if he had lost his
wallet. Mr. Goldstein
looked up with surprise,
put his hand in his back pocket and said, "Oh, it is
missing!"
"This kind gentleman
found a wallet and we
wondered if it could be
yours?" I handed Mr. Goldstein the
wallet and the second he
saw it, he smiled with
relief and said, "Yes,
that's it! It must have
dropped out of my pocket this
afternoon. I want to give
you a reward."
"No, thank you," I said.
"But I have to tell you
something. I read the letter in the hope of
finding out who owned
the wallet."
The smile on his face
suddenly disappeared.
"You read that letter?" "Not only did I read it, I
think I know where
Hannah is."
He suddenly grew pale.
"Hannah? You know
where she is? How is she? Is she still as pretty
as she was? Please,
please tell me," he
begged.
"She's fine...just as pretty
as when you knew her." I said softly.
The old man smiled with
anticipation and asked,
"Could you tell me where
she is? I want to call her
tomorrow." He grabbed my hand and said, "You
know something, mister,
I was so in love with
that girl that when that
letter came, my life
literally ended. I never married. I guess I've
always loved her. "
"Mr. Goldstein," I said,
"Come with me."
We took the elevator
down to the third floor. The hallways were
darkened and only one or
two little night-lights lit
our way to the day room
where Hannah was
sitting alone watching the television. The nurse
walked over to her.
"Hannah," she said softly,
pointing to Michael, who
was waiting with me in
the doorway. "Do you know this man?"
She adjusted her glasses,
looked for a moment, but
didn't say a word.
Michael said softly,
almost in a whisper, "Hannah, it's Michael. Do
you remember me?"
She gasped, "Michael! I
don't believe it! Michael!
It's you! My Michael!"
He walked slowly towards her and they
embraced. The nurse and
I left with
tears streaming down
our faces.
"See," I said. "See how the Good Lord works! If
it's meant to be, it will
be."
About three weeks later
I got a call at my office
from the nursing home. "Can you break away on
Sunday to attend a
wedding? Michael and
Hannah are going to tie
the knot!"
It was a beautiful wedding with all the
people at the nursing
home dressed up to join
in the celebration. Hannah
wore a light beige dress
and looked beautiful. Michael wore a dark blue
suit and stood tall. They
made me their best man.
The hospital gave them
their own room and if
you ever wanted to see a 76-year-old bride and a
79-year-old groom acting
like two teenagers, you
had
to see this couple.
A perfect ending for a love affair that had
lasted nearly 60 years
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Tuesday, 7 August 2012
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