Ramadan Jokes:
Mr Akpors David & Mr Ambali
Micheal
were lost in the Sahara desert.
They
were dying of thirst and hunger when
they saw a mosque. Mr Akpors
David
said: "Let's pretend we are
Muslims, otherwise we'll not
get any food or drink. I'm going to call myself
'Ahmed'
". Mr Ambali Micheal refused to
change
his name and said: "I will not
pretend to be other than but what I am!"
The
Imam of the mosque received
both well and asked about
their names; Mr
Akpors David said: "My name is Ahmed" Mr Ambali Micheal
said: "My
name is Micheal" The Imam
turned to
his followers and said: "Please
bring food and water for Micheal
only" and then he turned to Mr
Akpors David
(Ahmed) and said 'RAMADAN
MUBARAK BROTHER' "
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A soldier ran up to a nun, out
ReplyDeleteof breath,
he asked,
“Please may I hide under your
skirt? I’ll
explain later”. The nun agreed.
A moment later two military
police ran up and
asked, “Sister have you seen a
soldier?”
The nun replied, "He went that way. ”
After the MPs ran off, the
soldier
crawled out from
under the skirt and said, “I
can’t thank you enough sister. You see, I don’t want to
go to
Iraq. ”
The nun said she understood
completely.
The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you
have a great pair of legs.”
The nun replied, “If you had
looked a
little higher,
you would have seen a great pair of
balls…. I don’t want to go to
Iraq either
DONT TRY THIS AT HOME!!!
ReplyDeleteA guy in a hurry used the
ladies'toilet in
a posh hotel..He sat down &
noticed 4buttons-WW, WA, P P &APR.
Curious,he pressed WW & his
butt was
gently sprayed wit WARM
WATER, he loved itso much! He
then pressed WA & a blast of WARM AIR dried
him up.Still
loving it, he pressed PP & a
POWDER
PUFF 2 make himsmell fresh.
Feeling pampered, he decided to press
the last
button APR. He later woke up
in a hospital, a nurse smiled &
said;Sir, APR
means AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER, so
when the machine couldn't
find a pad
on you, it went forballs.Your
balls are in
this jar.
One evening a husband and
ReplyDeletewife were
in bed. The
husband was reading a book,
and the
wife was watching TV.The husband
reaches over
and puts his hand in his wife's
panties then
withdraws his
hand.The wife was surprised by this
and thought
perhaps her husband was in
the mood
for a little love.A short time
later the husband again reaches into his wife's panties then
withdraws
his hand. Now
the wife is almost sure that her
husband is "in the
mood."She decides to wait for him to touch her a
third time and then she will
know
forsure.Sure
enough, the husband repeats
*the move.*She leaves the bed,
removes her
clothes, and returns ready for
sex. Her husband, still reading
his
book, is surprised when she says, "Dear, I’m all
ready!"
The husband
asks, "For what?"She says,
"Well, for
sex, dear! You've fingered me three times in the
last 5 minutes,
and now I'm ready!"The
husband
replies, "Huh? Sex?? I was just
wetting my fingers so I could turn
the pages..
Death came to a guy and said;
ReplyDeleteMy friend, today is your day.
The Guy
grumbled; i am not ready!
Death said;
your name is next on my list. The guy
said; Ok, sit down let me get
you food
to eat. Death said alright! The
guy gave death food with
sleeping pills on it, after eating he fell into a deep
sleep.
While death was asleep, the
guy took
the list, removed his name
from the top and put it on the bottom of the
list.
When Mr Death woke up he
said to the guy; MY GUY, YOU
HAVE BEEN SO NICE TO
ME, I WILL START FROM THE BOTTOM
we invite to Matrix praise and hossana 9t@
ReplyDeletevenue: KSU CAMPUS
date: 27/1/2013
time: 4:30pm
it goin to be the best praise concert ever in KSU CAMPUS: